Managing Emotionally Charged Interviews
You walk into the interview room feeling ready. Your questions are set. The space is calm. The timing is perfect.
But two minutes in, everything changes.
Your interviewee’s eyes well up. Or they snap in frustration. Or they freeze, suddenly unable to speak. Whatever you expected, this wasn’t it.
That’s the moment every investigator faces the reality: you can plan the interview, but you cannot script the person.
We ask people to revisit moments that are painful, awkward, or deeply personal—and their reactions can be understandably intense. Tears, anger, silence, feeling overwhelmed…it’s all part of the terrain.
Below are practical ways to stay neutral, steady, and effective when an interview takes an emotional turn—so you can gather the information you need while honoring the person who’s trusting you with their story.
1. Forecasting And Giving Control
For interviews that involve sensitive or personal subject matter, it can be helpful to “forecast” to the interviewee at the beginning of the interview what you plan to discuss. It can also be helpful to give them control over how they choose to tell the story. For example, if you plan to speak to a reluctant complainant about his claim that he was subjected to sexual harassment at a holiday work party, let him know you want to hear his version of events about what occurred at the party, and he can share it in whatever sequence or manner he chooses. By doing so, you will reduce any uncertainty about the subject matter of the interview and give him control. Once you let the interviewee know the topic, you can also move to questions about their background or similar easy-to-answer questions. This will help build rapport while they process and have time to accept what you will be speaking to them about during the interview.
2. Breaks Are Your Friend
If an individual you are speaking to becomes upset or angry—offer a break. You may even accept responsibility for the break—“We have been talking for 45 minutes, and I could use a break. Is this a good time for you?” This provides benefits for both the investigator and the interviewee. It gives the interviewee time to pause, catch their breath, or speak with their representative if they brought one. This also allows you, as the investigator, the opportunity to reassess the direction of the interview. Take the time during the break to consider whether you need to re-word further questions to allow for a more comfortable interview moving forward.
You might also consider moving to a less controversial topic for a period of time before revisiting the difficult subject matter. For example, if a respondent becomes angry during an interview because they vehemently deny making the alleged comments to a coworker—take a break. When you return, consider circling back to less controversial topics such as the type of work they perform at the company, positions they have held in the past, or their relationship with a witness. Asking non-controversial questions will reset the tone of the interview. Once the interviewee has had time to regulate their emotions while answering less emotionally charged questions, revisit the questions that initially made them upset or angry. This will give them time to process so you can obtain more information.
3. Acknowledge The Difficulty
If an interviewee becomes upset during the interview, it can help to acknowledge that interviews can be difficult. Doing so will help the interviewee feel understood. However, you want to ensure that in recognizing this, it does not appear that you are agreeing with whatever emotion they are feeling. Investigators need to remain neutral.
In acknowledging the difficulties, avoid “labeling” the interviewee’s feelings, such as “I can see you are angry,” when in fact that may not be how they are feeling. Avoid statements that may cause you to lose credibility with the witness, such as “I understand why you are upset,” or “I know how you feel,” since the witness may not believe this is a shared experience. Instead, use neutral statements, such as, “In my experience as an investigator, talking about these subjects can be difficult. Let me know if you need a break.” Or, ask a neutral question, such as, “Let’s take a pause. We have been talking for an hour now. How are you doing?” This will help you assess how to move forward in the interview.
4. Active Listening
It’s important to engage in active listening during emotionally charged interviews. If an interviewee believes the investigator is listening, it can help diffuse any heightened emotions and lead to a more productive interview.
Similar to engaging in conversations with friends, interviewees are more likely to share sensitive information if they know you are interested in what they have to say. Imagine telling your friends about a stressful day. One friend scrolls on their phone and nods occasionally. Another looks at you, asks questions, and repeats back the key parts. The second friend is practicing active listening. In that situation, you may find yourself withdrawing from the first friend. The same goes for interviews—witnesses will be more inclined to share sensitive information if they think you are actively listening and interested in what they have to say.
Investigators can use their body language to convey active listening. Maintain steady eye contact, keep an open and neutral expression, and show receptiveness to the information. If you are conducting interviews over Zoom, position your notes on the same screen as your camera. This way, when you glance at your notes, it still appears that you are looking directly at the interviewee, which helps you maintain connection and trust.
Investigators can also convey engagement by repeating an interviewee’s statement to them. This shows you have accurately heard them and increases the likelihood that the interviewee will share more information.
5. Thank Them For Their Time
At the end of the interview, thank the interviewee for sharing the information. This will help diffuse any lasting heightened emotions. Be genuine and let them know that you appreciate them taking time out of their busy schedule to meet with you.
